These Healing Hands
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: After Thanos is defeated, Loki finds Tony to heal him. He didn't expect that Tony would be willing to heal him, too.


Tony could barely keep his eyes open when he felt the warm prickling sensation that he associated with magic. His body was cold and trembling, he barely felt the ground beneath him, but he still reached out, searching for the only mage he knew would have come immediately to his side. "Loki?"

"I'm here, Anthony." Loki's face came into view, his hand gently wrapping around Tony's. "You're safe now."

A wave of relief began to wash over him, but that was before he got a better look at the god. There were bruises, dark anger things, all across Loki's neck. He had to force himself to focus, but the bruises were distinct enough to make out the shape. It was a hand print. The hot swirl of anger filled him with new energy as he demanded, "Who did that?"

Loki blinked in surprise in the fact of Tony's anger. "What?"

"Who hurt you?" Tony demanded. He was weak, on the verge of passing out, his voice was barely a rough raspy whisper, but he still forced himself to meet Loki's eyes as he sought his answers.

Loki swallowed, hesitated, but answered in a soft voice. "The same person that hurt you."

Tony's eyes lit with surprise and the strength seemed to finally drain out of him as he passed out.

Loki stared at Tony's unconscious form as he continued to heal him. It was beyond unsettling to see his genius, his brave courageous mortal laying in a pool of his own blood. To have his hand pressed into the side of Tony's body and feeling the blood spilling out past his fingers. It made him sick. He wanted to hold his mortal tight, hide him away and never let him go. He wanted to rage righteous fury upon the being that did this to him, but he couldn't.

For one, Thanos was already defeated. For another, Loki had already proved himself incapable of defeating Thanos. He'd proven himself incapable of protecting anyone. Not his people, not his brother, and not his mortal. Loki was a failure and he didn't know how Tony could ever feel safe with him again. Loki had already failed him.

Loki gently laid Tony's hand down beside him, lifting his own hand toward his throat but hesitating to touch. He clenched his fist, feeling the bruise like a brand across his skin. He wondered if he could use an illusion to hide the bruising from Tony, convince him that it was a dream. Even if that worked, he wasn't certain that things would be the same between them. He wasn't sure he could be touched by Tony without flinching, found it difficult to even take his hand despite knowing how weak he was.

Would Tony really be okay having someone as weak as Loki by his side? Loki tried to swallow back sobs, feeling the ache in his throat and being unable to stop the tears that slid down his cheek. He was so fragile now, like glass. Like ice. Brittle and breakable. Unreliable.

Maybe he should just heal Tony and leave, save him the trouble of having to realize that he didn't want a useless god shadowing his steps any longer.

Loki didn't leave. He should have, he knew that he should have, but some desperate part of him was clinging too tightly to the mortal to leave before even being assured that he was alright. So he just waited, watched, retreating into the corner of the room as he waited for his mortal to wake and cast judgement on him.

"Loki?" That was the first word out of his love's mouth when he woke. Before he'd even opened his eyes, he was reaching out, trying to find his missing god. Something in Loki ached, but he forced himself to remain still, quiet. Tony opened his eyes and looked around, gingerly pushing himself up, stopping when his eyes landed on Loki. His gaze softened, relief obvious on his face. "You scared me, Loki. What are you doing all the way over there?"

Loki didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to act. He remained frozen until he saw Tony attempting to make his way toward him. "Anthony, no!" Loki said, moving closer, pausing, remaining still. "Save your strength, you're still weak."

"How long as it been since I've seen you, Loki?" Tony asked him. "You expect me to stay all the way over here when I haven't been able to see you, touch you, let alone hold you for who knows how long?"

Loki swallowed, wanted to press a nervous hand to his throat, felt his fingers twitch, clenched his hand into a fist. "There is no need to-"

"There is a need," Tony objected. "A strong need." Tony met his eyes. "Do you even realize how much I missed you?"

Loki bit his lip. He found himself shrinking away without meaning to. "You can't..."

"I can't what?" Tony asked. He was slowly pushing himself onto his knees, not yet able to get on his feet, as he crawled closer, stopping when Loki flinched again. "Talk to me, Loki. Please?"

"You can't... touch me."

"Why not?"

"Because I..." Loki was yelling. He shouldn't be yelling. He was breathing too hard. He pressed his eyes closed, curled into a ball with his arms wrapped around his legs. His voice dropped to a whisper as he continued. "Because I can... still feel him... touching me." He his his face, forced his voice to raise to compensate. "My skin crawls at the thought of _anyone_ touching me after that. I can't breathe without feeling his hand on my throat!"

"Loki... look at me," Tony said softly.

Loki lifted his head slowly, eyes watery as he looked at Tony.

"It doesn't have to be all or nothing," Tony told him. He held out his hand, still meeting Loki's eyes. "We can start slow. You can take my hand. If that's still too much, we can wait. I can wait. Just... please, don't push me away Loki. I don't want to be without you again."

Loki closed his eyes as he reached out to Tony. He didn't take his hand, only resting his finger tips on top of Tony's, but it was enough. Loki felt like he could breath again, like just that little bit was enough. "Anthony... I love you."

"I know," Tony answered with a small smile. "I love you, too, Loki."


End file.
